i think i'm a reasonably intelligent woman, able to grasp at least some of the deeper mysteries of life. so tell me why--at 29 years of age--i can't work an eyelash curler. does anyone else have this problem? i either pinch my skin, or poke my eyeball, or bend some of the lashes into an L-shape. An unnatural looking L-shape. not a nice curved C-shape. seriously. am i the only idiot? what is the correct way to operate this intricate piece of apparatus?
here's another quandary. who decided that glasses/cups should be stacked UPSIDE DOWN? i've never understood that one. that puts the rim of the glass on the surface of the cupboard. what if there are little cruddies or stickies in the cupboard? then they get all over the rim of the glass. grosses me out.
and here's one more: do you think i would get arrested for throwing eggs at cars? i'm speaking specifically of the cars that sit out in the intersection, waiting to turn left, who block YOUR path, once YOUR light turns green, so that about five of them can run the red light and turn left. MAKES---ME---HULK---ANGRY. easter's coming up. maybe people would appreciate beautifully decorated eggs being hurled at them. who knows?
hey, who else doesn't feel like working today?! raise your hand!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
a quandary
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4 comments:
you have the thickest eyelashes, do you really need to curl them? i never have. you could pluck some of your eyebrow hairs and glue them to your eyelashes, then you've never need to curl them.
if you don't tip the glass upside down, water will sit in the glass and just sit there. you might breed more organisms in the bottom of the glass. unless, of course, your dishwasher (the machine OR your future husband) dries the dishes completely.
and i was behind a tractor with my blinker on to get around him and no one would give me a chance. i'd start into the lane and they would race past me, nearly hitting me and forcing me behind the tractor...soo..flippin...angry....breathe....just thinking about it makes me want to spit on them. hurl away, i say. HAPPY EASTER YOU MAGGOTS!
MY SISTERS ARE FUNNEH!!! laura... i honestly want to see a video of you hurling decorated easter eggs at cars. i would pee my friggin' panties!!!!!!!!
i don't use that medieval contraption either... cuz i have the same "L" problem. but you don't need it, like kathryn said.
You are so funny! You should suggest your comments to Brian Regan.
Hey - no flinging eggs at cars! Concentrate on batting those big eye lashes at the drivers, instead of hurling eggs at them. City driving is most frustrating.... but riding we me......... is even worse! So, count your blessings, and name the one by one when you're sitting behind the wheel. I've become a grandma driver -- I can't help myself!!
Hugs anyway! Please don't egg me!
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